Monthly Archives: October 2010

"Why do some Atheists seem so angry?"

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I get a lot of the “Why are you so angry?” bullshit.  Not nearly so much as many of my more famous and thus more exposed contemporaries of course, but enough to warrant an answer.


I was in the midst of formulating a response when I happened upon one “Sam Singleton, Atheist Evangelist”.  In the accompanying brief video, Brother Sam does a far better job of explaining the source of “Atheist anger”, as well as its actual target (No, it’s not some imaginary, invisible patch of ectoplasm in-the-sky), than I ever could.


So here, speaking largely for me, and I suspect fifteen to twenty million other Atheists in this U S of A, is Brother Sam Singleton:


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Heaven, or Hell?

While walking down the street one day a corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died.
Instantaneously his soul arrived in heaven and was met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” said the Senator.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really?  But I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” the Senator replied.
“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”
So St. Peter escorted him to the elevator and down, down, down he went to hell.
The doors opened and, to his surprise, the Senator found himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance was a clubhouse and standing in front of it were all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone seemed very happy and in evening dress. Seeing him, they ran to greet him, shook his hand, and reminisced about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. Together they played a friendly game of golf and then dined on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne
During the festivities Satan walked in, a very friendly guy who had a good time dancing and telling jokes.
Before the Senator realized it, his day was up and it was time to return to heaven.
Everyone gave him a hearty farewell and waved as the elevator began its ascent.
The elevator rose up, up, up, and finally the door opened in heaven where St. Peter stood waiting for him. 
“Now it’s time to visit heaven”, the kindly old Saint beckoned.
The next twenty-four hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.  Again, he had a good time and, before he realized it St. Peter had returned and stood before him.
“Well then”, he said, “you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity.
The Senator reflected for a minute before he answered.  “Well, I would never have thought it, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be happier and  better off back down in hell.”
St. Peter dutifully escorted him to the elevator, and in no time he was plunging back down, down, down to hell.
Finally the doors of the elevator opened and to his utter shock he found himself in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.  He located all his friends, who now were dressed in rags, bending and picking up trash and putting it in bags as more trash continued to fall from above and flames rose all around them.
Satan walked over to him and put his arm around his shoulders.
“I don’t understand,” stammered the Senator. “Yesterday when I was here there was a golf course and a clubhouse, and we all  ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?  I don’t understand”
The devil smiled knowingly at him and replied,  “Yesterday was the campaign.  Then you voted.  Now the election is over.”  
Choose wisely on November 2nd my friends.
Vote Libertarian.

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